Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar
Characters/Pairings: Skipper, Hans, Kowalski, Private, Dr. Blowhole, Rico, King Julien (Queen Juliet), mentions Manfredi & Johnson, Mrs. O'Malley (Mama Duck),
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay? If I ever actually finish these. They're kind of fun.
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slash,
Author's note: Sometimes I need a reminder that Hans can be a bit of a... well, I suppose bastard is a good way to put it. He deliberately enjoys tormenting Skipper. And Kowalski, but it's not the same.
AN #2: Uh... same reminder about Blowhole, honestly... I don't know what happened.
"That clapping. I know that icy cold clapping," Skipper said. He whirled around as Kowalski tossed a dart in the direction of the clapping. "Hans Søpapegøjer."
The Dane dodged the dart and stepped forward, saying, "Skipper. How pleasant it is to see you. I hope you don't mind me intruding."
"Hans." Kowalski's voice was quiet, but it cut like a knife.
"Ah yes. The gunman scientist with the shredded knee. How is your injury?" Kowalski scowled and pulled another dart from the tree embedded with them. "Just fine then."
"Hans, what are you after?" Skipper asked, darting forward.
"What? I can't stop by and say hello to an old friend?'
"Not when you got me banned from Denmark."
"You're the reason Skippah can't go to Denmark?" Private gasped, blue eyes going wide.
"Don't assume things, Skipper," Blowhole said, getting right up in Skipper's face. "It makes an ass out of you and me. Well, mostly you." Smirking evilly, Blowhole wheeled away toward his lab. "Your scientist is an emotional wreck, the weapons expert is unconscious, and your little British friend is unable to move. You have no backup." He turned back when Skipper spoke.
"You shouldn't assume things Blowhole," Skipper growled. "I've got one last ace up my sleeve."
"Oh really? Are Manfredi and Johnson really alive and able to back you up?" At Skipper's flinch of pain, Blowhole laughed. "I thought not." Blowhole cackled and wheeled back to the lab.
"Come on," Skipper murmured, "Where are you? I need help here."
"Kowalski. I know you're a scientist and everything but why did you turn us into children?" Skipper asked. He was breathing evenly, trying not to lose his cool. His shirt was falling off him, and he didn't even bother with trying to pull up his pants from around his ankles. "It was bad enough the first time."
"I miscalculated the vectors relating to the power outage. I wasn't expecting that big of a... jump," Kowalski replied, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "I just hope it was only the two of us affected."
"Skippah!" Private called. He'd been de-aged as well, but not nearly as far as Skipper and Kowalski. He appeared about fifteen or sixteen whereas the other two where once again five years old. "What happened? You two are so... cute!"
Skipper scowled at the phrase but Kowalski played it up. His blue-gray eyes were closer to blue than gray and he managed to look absolutely pathetic drowning in his clothes.
"Well... until K'walski manages to fix whatever this thing was, how about we find clothes that actually fit the two of you?" Private said, picking them both up. He was slimmer at fifteen than in his twenties, but it appeared he was still stronger than he appeared. "I think we're lucky Rico was up in the attic and barely got hit at all with that blast. I think he lost about a year, maybe two." Skipper was still scowling, but at least one of them could still go out and get what they needed.
"Skipper, it's not like you or I could go get anything," Kowalski said, perching himself on Private's arm. "By the way, I think you've got blood on you."
Scowling even harder, Skipper wiped angrily where Kowalski pointed. His knee was scraped up, and it hadn't been beforehand.
"Skippah, let me put a plaster on it, so you don't get blood on yourself and others," Private said, sitting his teammates at the kitchen table. "What did you do, anyway?"
"Nothing," Skipper growled. "I had a lot of scrapes as a kid, okay? I probably fell off my bicycle or something when I was five and since it appears that I physically de-aged, what about you Kowalski?"
"What do you notice different?" Kowalski asked. He grinned widely, revealing missing teeth and a crooked smile topped with freckles.
"You're a cute kid, Kowalski," Private replied. He pulled out the box of bandages from above the sink in the medicine cabinet and removed one from the box. "Now hold still, Skippah, so I can put this plaster on you." Grumpily, Skipper stopped squirming so Private could put on the bandage. "There. All better." Smiling, Private picked up Skipper and Kowalski again, going into the living room where Rico sat. "So. How're we going to fix this?"
154 Jealous (Genderbend!AU)
Juliet was getting in close to Rico, and Kowalski was having none of it. She sat down between the two of them and nearly snarled at the African woman when she spoke to her.
Later that evening Rico said to Kowalski, "You're cute when you're jealous. Nothing's going on, and nothing's going to happen, okay?"
"Fine. But if she even tries anything, I will remove her head."
"Alright. Go ahead. I'm not stopping you."
"I love you."
Two weeks after watching The Fox and the Hound, Rico had picked out one of the Original Trilogy Star Wars movies. Private suspected it had something to do with that scene, since Kowalski was lying right up against Rico sniffling a little.
Private had the sneaking suspicion that you could tell a lot about a person from the movies they watched.
156 Air (Fantasy AU)
"Thank you," the alchemist said, breathing deep. A humungous bandit had held him by the throat and was cutting off his air supply and Sir Skipper had driven his sword deep into the bandit's shoulder. The bandit immediately dropped the alchemist and lunged at Sir Skipper, pulling the sword from his shoulder to use against the knight.
Rico beat the bandit with his staff and impaled him with the sharp edge. "I hate bandits," he signed, checking over Kowalski.
"I know you do," Kowalski replied softly, tipping up his head so that Rico could look at his throat.
Sir Skipper watched this exchange with something akin to amazement. Before that, he wasn't certain how close the other two men were. Now he wasn't exactly sure, but they were closer than he expected. Sir Skipper didn't want to ask how close they were, for he truly didn't want to know.
But he wanted to know what he was dealing with.
157 Dublin (Kico)
"And this is where I'm from," Rico said, waving an arm out to encompass the city they were standing in.
Looking around, Kowalski said, "It's beautiful. Why'd your family leave?"
"I got attacked by a dog. Freaked my mom out. And then we moved out into the countryside." Rico's voice, in addition to the usual rasp, was soft and a little pained.
Kowalski smiled a small smile and pulled Rico into a hug, right there in front of everyone. "It's okay. I get it. You don't have to tell me any more if it hurts to." They stood like that for a few moments. "I understand why you lived here. Dublin's a beautiful city."
"They are my family," Private said. "I would do anything for them." He breathed hard from thrashing against his bonds, trying to loosen them up enough to escape.
Blowhole only smiled evilly and tightened the ropes, digging them into Private's skin. When the boy hissed, he gave them one last tug and tied them off. "Let's hope they would do anything for you then."
Private glared, blue eyes just as sharp as Skipper's. "They would." He hoped.
Looking up from his sketch, Rico noticed that Kowalski had stopped writing and was staring out into space. Quickly, Rico grabbed his charcoal pencil and drew. By the time Kowalski had looked back down, Rico had an outline and a good portion of the details done. The main part of the sketch not finished was the eyes. Rico drew them but didn't like how flat the charcoal made them look. He scowled, not sure what to do about how flat they were. Looking back up at Kowalski, he noticed that the older man was staring at him, blue-gray eyes locking onto his own sea-green ones. Murmuring to himself, he grabbed one colored pencil and added to the sketch. "Perfect," he muttered, noting how the deep blue color of the pencil made the sketch's eyes really pop.
"What's perfect?" Kowalski asked, looking over at Rico.
"Alright, whatever you say.."
"What do you mean 'we have a handler'?" Skipper asked, eyes narrowing.
"Exactly what I said we have a handler and we didn't know until today." Kowalski looked more irritated than stunned by the fact and continued, "And you won't believe who it is."
"If you tell us it's Ringtail, I will have to hurt you," Skipper replied, unamused.
"If it was, we wouldn't have a handler, now would we?" Kowalski was equally unamused by that comment.
"Skippah, Kowalski, what do you mean by 'handlah'? That doesn't make any sense to me," Private said, interrupting to two snarking back and forth. Rico amused himself by staying out of the conversation.
"A handler is the person who gives us all of our mission information. I don't know why they haven't revealed themselves before now. And I feel like an idiot for not realizing who it is." Kowalski dropped his head onto the table.
The others shared a look before Skipper asked, "Well, who is it?"
"You won't believe me."
"Yes way. I feel so stupid for not seeing it. And you won't believe the other thing I found out. She's Manfredi's sister." Everyone gave him a silently stunned look at this new revelation. "I had a nice long conversation with her today... and I feel like my head's going to explode. This is insane. How did none of us figure out we have a handler? Much less who it was? That's what I want to know."